An Adopted Child's Voice

An Adopted Child's Voice

After I was adopted, things started to settle down. Things were seeming to be normal. I felt very much at home with my new family.
We did fun family things together. We had family night where we would sit at the dinning room table and play cards or board games. Sometimes we had a family movie night. This was the happiest time I ever knew. I found myself pushing my old family and old life right out of my mind, and letting my new family in.
That didn't mean I was all better. I was happy, sure, but when night time fell, and I went to bed, all the old memories would drown me. I would lay there sleepless and think of old times.
I remembered living in that old house. I remember it being so cold. I remember not being able to lay, sit, or stand anywhere in that house with out being in animal feces.
I remembered the farm we had there. There was no door on our house, so farm animals occasionally wandered in. No one seemed to care. I can remember getting hurt and my birth mother just ignoring it. I remember breaking my arm and my birth mother not wanting to be bothered by taking me to a hospital. When she took me, I remember being so small and she let me run around the hospital all by myself! i remember the nurse casting my arm, but my mother wasn't there.
I remember being in that big old house all alone when my parents went to parties and being hungry with no one there to feed me.

I thank God everyday that he found me a good home, and it has taken away many fears. I feel safe now. I know I was blessed by God, but I often still recapture these old memories in my mind.

It scares me to think they will never leave........